I lived a careless & unconcerned life, untill June last, I attended a
meeting and was awakened by a discourse from these words. Without
holiness no man can see the Lord. Heb. 12. 14. I returned home with
a sorrowful heart. knowing I did not possess that true love to
God & holiness of heart, that every true christian possesses. I made used
every exertion possible, to put these feelings out of my mind, but
could not. I felt deeply sensible, that while I was out of the ark
of safty, I was in immense danger. I attended a four days meeting ^in Warner &
it appeared very solemn & affecting. I made many resolutions to attend
to the concerns of my soul, but ^they were soon broken. I attended another
meeting of the same kind. I felt more impressed with a view of my
own sinfulness, than ever I did before, ^And since they were like mountains before
me, I thought there was no mercy for me, & a banishment from
the presence of the Lord, and the glory of his power, must be my
portion forever. I thought an interest in Christ, was all that was
desirable in this life, and that which is to come & that true happiness
consisted in nothing else. I remained in this situation for several
weeks. I then heard a sermon, & the words of the text were these
The master is come & calleth for thee. John. 11.2 &. knowing that
the Lords hand was not shortened that it could not not save, nor his ear
heavy that it could not hear? I was led to say, as for me, I will serve
the Lord. & I think from that time to the present I have felt
that peace of mind, which the world can neither give nor take
away. I hope I shall be enabled, by the grace of God to press forward
in the good work, & whatsoever my hands find to do, do with all
my might to the glory of God. I am resolved in the strength of
Christ, to devote the remainder of my life to his service & the
promotion of his cause. I humbly ask the prayers, of this
Church and pastor, that God would search my heart
continually, & see if, I am deceiving myself, for which I have